Reid's Gift To Himself
by Taomerline Fanfiction
Summary: For the CCOAC New Year's Resolution Challenge - Reid decides to make a major change in his life, hoping to keep himself sane. But will it drive him crazy from all the deciding, thinking, planning, and trying to implement his resolutions?
1. Chapter 1

**Reid's Gift to Himself – Chapter 1**

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. **__**I**__** chose Dr. Spencer Reid and his New Year's Resolution was: "To spend at least 1 hour every day not analyzing, or theorizing, or critically thinking about anything!" I was assigned David Rossi as the second main character. **_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

_**This story is mostly from Reid's perspective. Therefore, there will be a lot of Reid's internalized ramblings because the beauty of talking to yourself privately is that no one can laugh at you. It's a tiny look behind the façade of pretending to be normal. I'm a lot like Reid. I hope you like this story. **_

**November 15****th**

Spencer was still thinking about masks and costumes. He wasn't thinking about Halloween and wearing such things, recalling the recent childish behavior of his team mates. Sometimes Reid was embarrassed by their antics. But they sure did look like they had enjoyed themselves. Oh, well. As they say, to each their own. Reid continued dwelling on his visualizations of everything he had ever learned about the historical function of masks and costumes. He spent the next two weeks considering whether or not he was ready to actually start thinking about what he might be ready to actually do.

**November 29****th**

Reid decided that he had to decide by tomorrow. It had to be tomorrow because that would ensure that he would still have one full month to fully prepare his plan, and himself. Reid had mostly taught himself everything that he knew. So he was a big proponent of the Learn-Anything-In-30-Days approach. It always worked for him.

Garcia stopped at her local bookstore with one purpose in mind. After 15 minutes of searching through the self-help section she was almost ready to give up. She had found books that almost served her purpose, but they weren't right for what she had in mind. It was going to be difficult enough to get the team to agree without trying to make each of them read a whole book.

Garcia noticed one of the sales clerks restocking the shelves at the end of her aisle. She had already searched that end. But maybe he was adding new books that she hadn't seen. Garcia wandered back down the aisle and was about to ask the young man … when she saw it. How much clearer could the title and cover art be? The book cover was black with white lettering. On the front cover was one word that said it all: "RESOLUTIONS".

The paperback book was the right size. It was small enough to carry in your pocket or pocketbook. It was the right length, 30 pages of instructions and suggestions along with 30 blank pages. And you couldn't beat the price of $6.95 each. Garcia flipped through the book and was sure it would work. The instructions were very user-friendly without patronizing or insulting the reader's intelligence. The suggestions ranged widely. They were categorized by age-group, male/female, and introvert/extrovert. What a wonderful book for everybody in the world. Things like this always please Garcia. She likes seeing the good in people, and helping them find it in themselves.

Garcia grabbed up seven copies and put them in her basket. She noticed the young man chuckling at her. "This is what friends are for." She laughed. They chatted for a few minutes and then Garcia headed towards the register to check out. After paying a little over $50, Garcia headed home with her books. She was even more happy than usual. She had some wrapping and writing to do before going to bed extra early.

**November 30****th**

At the stroke of midnight on the morning of November 30th Reid said out loud, "Yes!" He was home alone but he needed to vocalize his decision. It made it real versus just a thought. He was very pleased with himself. This was a humongous step for him to take. But Reid felt that he really, really had to do this for the sake of his sanity. He only had exactly 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to decide. 58 seconds … 57 seconds. … "Stop!" he said, needing one more vocalization.

The reason Reid had shouted out "Yes!" wasn't because he had decided. What this was about is that Reid had decided TO decide upon something very important. This countdown that he was now involved in was crucial. This couldn't be done any other way. What's crucial is crucial. He went to his bedroom and looked in the back of his top chest drawer. Reid was already smiling before he even laid his eyes on it. He took out the beautiful box and sat on the edge of his bed. His mother had given it to him when he was 13 years old. It always pleased him because it worked differently, just like he did.

He had to hurry up, he was losing precious seconds and minutes. Reid went straight into his kitchen and started a fresh pot of coffee. He was going to need every single drop. Sitting at the table, Reid pulled out his cell phone. He wanted it to be exact. No, he needed it to be exact. If he doesn't take this time now, he knows he'll lose future time wondering if it's wrong. First things first … new batteries! He quickly loaded brand new batteries and pressed reset to prepare it. He made himself a cup of coffee, and then rushed back to sit at the table. Because he was ready!

Reid took three deep breathes and then took a sip of his coffee and savored it. He repeated this routine twice: three deep breathes, sip and savor … three deep breathes, sip and savor. "Okay, last chance to back out. I can afford another 60 seconds. Nope. 40 seconds. Nope. 20 seconds. Really? 10 Seconds. Nope. Time's up! Thank the gods! Too many sub-decisions. Final answer: Nope, I'm not changing my mind. So, here we go." Reid took a celebratory sip and savor, just because.

"Okay. Pick up cell phone. Turn on screen. Open browser. Go to .. The time is exactly 12:35:40 am. Shoot! I've already lost 35 minutes and now 46 seconds." Reid quickly picked up his special count down timer that his mother had given him. He no longer had a full 24 hours left. He set the hours to 23. Then he set the minutes to 22. But he left the seconds at 0. Reid stared at the webpage until it read exactly 23:22:00 and clicked his timer on the stroke of zero seconds. "Yes! Done. Finally. "

Reid now had 23 hours, 20 minutes, and 10 seconds. "Fine! I'm making another decision RIGHT NOW! I'm putting my timer in my pocket. I'm not going to keep looking at it. I still love looking at it, watching the seconds pass by. But at the same time … I hate that I can't stop looking at it, even when I want to. At least that problem's solved. No … no it isn't. Every time I put my hand in my pocket I know I'll start watching it again. Alright. I don't want to tape anything onto it. That makes a right mess, trying to remove the left over gum from the tape. Nope. I'll cut one of my handkerchiefs in half. It will be too bulky if I don't." Reid went to his bedroom and grabbed a handkerchief. He returned to the kitchen and grabbed a scissors and the tape dispenser.

It was very late and Reid had work tomorrow. He can get through the day with only a few hours of sleep. He had no choice but to have stayed up until midnight. He had needed to know that there were only 24 hours left to go. If he had gone to sleep with more than 24 hours left, he would never have followed through. He knew that. He would have talked and thought himself away from the decision that he made.

Reid quickly got ready for bed. He placed his wrapped timer alongside his watch on the night stand. Reid folded back his quilt, sat on the edge of his bed, and turned the light out. Confident in the level of glow emanating from his nightlight, he lay down and pulled up the covers. And then he closed his eyes.

Thank you, gods and protectors. Thank you for allowing me to follow-thru in spite of myself. One die has been cast tonight. The other will be cast when my countdown timer goes off. Reid laid there thinking about how to make the best use of the time he had left. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

_**A/N This is the end of chapter 1. I'd like to know if anyone likes my Reid-style of thinking. This story will proceed at two-week intervals from Nov 15**__**th**__** thru Jan 15**__**th**__**, or Jan 31**__**st**__**. My story is almost complete. I'm waiting for the 2**__**nd**__** character to be assigned to me. Garcia is just in the story being herself, as usual. I'd like a few comments before I post Chapter 2. **__**This is only my second submission to Fanfiction**__**. I really do need your review/opinion before I stray too far off the deep end of reader appreciation. Let me know. Thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 2

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. **_

_**Happy Holidays to Everyone! I'm my own beta, so I hope I've done myself proudly. Here's Chapter 2 … Enjoy!**_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *** **_

**December 1st**

Reid wished himself a Happy Decision Day. It was December 1st and he was glad. He felt much more relaxed than he thought he would feel. Reid acknowledged that as a good omen regarding his upcoming decision to be made when his timer went off. He got ready for work as usual. When he put his watch on, he quickly grabbed his wrapped timer and slipped it into his pocket. Off to work he went.

Garcia was the first one in to work, just like she planned. She didn't have any time to waste. First she ran to the break room to start the coffee maker. Then, she dashed quickly to her team mates' offices and desks, dropping off her parcels. Once she finished, she stopped by the break room to pour herself a much needed cup of coffee. As soon as she fixed her coffee the way she liked it, she went back to her office, and closed her door. Garcia planned to stay in her office behind her closed door until around 11:00 am. She didn't want to risk running into anyone on her team in the kitchen, the hall, or the bullpen. She didn't want to embarrass any of them, or embarrass herself. She figured that by 11:00 am, feelings would be under control.

The BAU team is a close-knit team. They're a family. They spend a lot of time together. They share a lot of things and information between themselves. But they don't share everything. By now, every member of the team knows quite a bit about each other. And that includes traumas, sorrows, and regrets. Still for all that each member has shared, there is a wealth of personal issues that none of them will ever reveal to anybody.

Every year you hear people laughing and joking when they announce what resolutions they are going to make. But because they laugh and joke, nobody takes them seriously. Plus they tend to spout off the standard list of common statements. But Garcia knows that most people don't have lives like hers and her team mates. Most people don't purposefully seek out, and find, the most horrible of horribleness every day. The BAU knows that there usually is someone in the closet, under the bed, or forcing their way into your house. Monsters and Boogie Men do indeed exist. And no matter how many times you catch one of them … there are always more, and more, and more.

This is why Garcia dropped off the parcels instead of presenting them to her friends. She wants them to take her gift seriously. Garcia used the same brown wrapping paper for each book. The same handwritten note was sealed in an envelope with first names written on them, and taped to the wrapping paper.

On each note, Garcia wrote: _"I've given each of you this same book, and this same note. This isn't meant to be a joke. It's from my heart to yours. I hope you will take a little time to look through this little book and see if you can find a way to PRIVATELY start healing whatever part of your life you need to heal. I'm talking about the things that we don't talk about, and we never will. We all have them, but we can never share them. I'm going to use this book to help me do something that I so badly have wanted to do for so long. But I never knew how to go about making it happen. I never felt it could ever happen. I've wasted many years waiting for it to happen. We are all so stupid sometimes. The only thing preventing us from healing is ourselves. You will never know what I'm doing about my issue. I can never tell you about it. I have to do it by myself … for myself. And even once I accomplish it, I still won't tell you. I love each of you so very, very much. Your love fills my heart. But at the same time, knowing that you have secret pain in your life … it breaks my heart. Please use this book the same way I'm going to use it. PRIVATELY!"_

At 9:15 am, the first email arrived from Hotch. Garcia read it and smiled before going back to work. Then two emails arrived at 9:30 am from JJ and Prentiss. Garcia read them and chuckled a bit before going back to work. Two more emails arrived at 9:45 am from Rossi and Morgan. Garcia read them, and laughed out loud before going back to work. Garcia was still chuckling occasionally when the final email arrived at 9:59 am. She eagerly opened it and was surprised to see how long it was. The prior five emails were only one or two sentences long. This final email was from Reid, and it was three full paragraphs. Garcia's eyes were burning by the time she reached the end of the first paragraph. Her eyes were watering by the end of the second paragraph. That third paragraph brought full on tears. Garcia couldn't stop herself. She grabbed a few tissues and went to find Reid.

A laughing and smiling Garcia is what everyone on that floor was used to seeing. People were stopped in their tracks at the sight of her. Garcia was a mess, a crying and sobbing mess. When she reached the bullpen, Morgan and Prentiss were the first to notice her. They both jumped up, but before they could even speak, Garcia called out loudly, "Reid! Where's Reid?" JJ and Rossi came out from the kitchen. Hotch came out of his office. But Reid wasn't there. They all tried to comfort Garcia, but she wasn't having any of it. She kept saying, "I need Reid! I need Reid!"

When Reid returned from the men's room, he found his team gathered in the bullpen surrounding Morgan tightly holding a sobbing Garcia. "What's going on?" Reid asked, concerned.

Garcia broke away from Morgan's arms and walked up to Reid. She gently placed her right hand on Reid's cheek and said, "My baby genius. My beautiful, most elegant baby genius. Thank you." Garcia kissed Reid on the other cheek and almost squeezed the life out of him as she hugged him dearly. The team stood there watching and hoping for some kind of an explanation ... none came. Garcia and Reid said nothing more. They watched as Reid's eyes watered. Then he closed his eyes as a few tears fell. Hotch signaled his team to walk away, to give them some privacy. After a few more moments, Garcia broke the hug. She put one hand on Reid's chest over his heart. She put her other hand over her own heart. Finally Garcia smiled as she took a deep breath and said, "From mine … to yours … forever." Then she escaped back to her office. Reid quickly dried his face, put his head down, and walked straight to his desk. Hotch, Rossi, and JJ had gone back to their offices. Reid knew that Morgan and Prentiss would pounce any second, so he looked at them and said, "Don't. Don't ask. Everything is fine, now. Remember, there are things that we are to deal with PRIVATELY."

"Oh!" Said Emily. "Right!" Said Morgan. They both understood what Garcia had meant about certain things needing to remain private. Emily gave Reid a big sad smile. Morgan gave Reid a strong squeeze on his shoulder. Then everyone went back to work. The rest of the work day was a good day. A bit strange and quiet. There was work to be done, and it was done. There were meetings and discussions, and they took place. There was interaction and small chitchat as usual. Privately, all seven team members of the BAU were focusing on themselves and each other. Throughout the day, each had re-read Garcia's handwritten note a couple of times. Each time, they felt stronger and they felt loved by Garcia and each other. At the end of the work day, the team still had gentle smiles on all of their faces. It felt good. It felt nice. It felt right. They all said their goodbyes, their goodnights, and their see you tomorrows. No one suggested going out for drinks. No one needed it tonight.

Reid had stopped at a liquor store, on his way home from work. He felt it was appropriate to celebrate his midnight countdown with a chilled single-serve bottle of Champagne. When the countdown alarm went off, he was startled. We went to the kitchen, got a glass, and poured his Champagne. Reid took his drink back into the living room. It was a few minutes past midnight and the 30-Day process had begun. He stood at the window and looked up at the sky. Reid raised his glass in a toast and said, "To me." He sipped his drink until it was gone. He felt good. He felt very good. It was time for bed now. Tomorrow was going to take a lot of brain power for Day 1.

_**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. It's short, but that's because I'm waiting to be assigned my 2**__**nd**__** character. I don't want this story to have flashbacks. So I won't post another chapter until after Jan 2**__**nd**__**. I hope everyone stays safe and happy. And please find the time to send me a review. A few people are following this story, which is GREAT! But I also am desperate for reviews … good or bad, but proper. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 3

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. I've been assigned David Rossi as my second main character. This is going to challenge me a lot. I like Rossi, but I never would have thought I could write him. This is a long chapter, but I think it flows well. Read on, and be the judge! **_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

December 16th

Reid was still hopeful and determined that he could do this. He still had time to work out some more minute details to ensure his plan worked. He'd accomplished a lot over the last two weeks. He was almost ready to do this thing. Reid was sure of it.

Rossi had left the office about an hour ago. He said he had to attend to some personal business. That had been a bit unusual, thought the rest of the team. But no one said anything, or discussed it after Rossi left. Reid noticed Rossi heading into the kitchen. He looked a bit stressed? Distressed? Something! So Reid got up from his desk and went to try to talk to Rossi.

Rossi and Reid worked well together, though Rossi never initiated chit chat with Reid. Either Rossi would ask a direct question, and/or Reid would be rambling out knowledge on one subject or another. But there was no animosity between them. That's just how it worked out. Reid didn't take it personally because Rossi was never as chit chatty and sociable as Morgan, Prentiss, Garcia, and JJ. It was as if the two oldest agents, Hotch and Rossi, bore a lot more on their shoulders and their consciences than the younger agents. Everyone understood that, so no one took it personally that Hotch and Rossi didn't usually joke around. And it made it all the more exceptional when they did join in.

Reid would have asked Morgan or Prentiss to go and try to talk to Rossi, but they weren't in the bullpen. Reid didn't know what to say to Rossi, or how to get him to reveal anything. Reid decided he'd just go an make himself a cup of coffee and say the first thing that came to mind. Regardless of how the conversation worked out, he would have more data to build into his resolution plan as to what worked, and what didn't.

When Reid approached the kitchen doorway, he saw Rossi standing at the counter frowning and staring into the mug he was holding. Reid grabbed his mug and slowly started preparing himself a cup of coffee. Rossi didn't seem to register that Reid was even in the kitchen.

"Hey, Rossi." Reid said, quietly.

"Hey, Kid! How's it going?" Rossi responded, trying to smile and sound upbeat as if nothing was bothering him.

"I don't know if I can … but I'd like to … ask you if there's anything I can do to help you." Reid stuttered out, as he tried to maintain eye contact with Rossi. He did the best he could. Reid couldn't maintain the eye contact and ended up frowning and staring into his own cup of coffee.

At first, Rossi wondered what Reid was getting at, as he stood there watching Reid trying to offer assistance to him. Rossi knew that Reid had stepped way out of his comfort zone. So, Rossi dropped his false bravado. He was so touched by Reid's concern. A few slightly awkward seconds passed, and Reid sighed loudly. He was about to turn and walk away, thinking that he had made another fool of himself.

Rossi put his hand on Reid's shoulder to stop him from leaving. He tilted his head, and looked up into Reid's downcast eyes and said, "Thank you, Reid. I'm not used to asking for help, but I really could use your help." Rossi smiled gently at Reid.

Reid was suddenly ecstatic. His eyes lit up and his smile was as wide as a mile. "Anything. Anything you need, Rossi. I don't know exactly what I can do … or what I can't do … but Anything!" Reid finished, almost breathlessly, grinning from ear to ear.

Rossi had to chuckle. He was always amazed by Reid. That was the main reason he never really said much to Reid, because he usually felt dumbfounded around him, socially. During actual profiling, Rossi had no problems talking to Reid. But socially, Rossi wasn't used to listening to so much rambling information. It tended to overwhelm him. How in the world could the world's knowledge be wrapped up in such a young brain? It never ceased to amaze Rossi.

"Reid, I'd like your help on a very private and personal matter. But first, you have to promise me that you won't divulge anything to the rest of the team … or to anyone else." Rossi said, earnestly.

"Of course not. I promise Rossi. I won't say anything to anyone. I'll only discuss it with you. I promise." Reid said. This time he did maintain eye contact.

Rossi clapped Reid on his shoulder and smiled. He said, "Let's go to my office."

Rossi and Reid left the kitchen and headed to Rossi's office. They were both smiling and Rossi still had his hand on Reid's shoulder. Morgan and Prentiss were sitting in the bullpen and saw them. Prentiss' eyebrows shot up really high, while Morgan's sunk down really low. Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other, and then continued to watch Rossi and Reid enter Rossi's office and close the door.

"What's that about?" Morgan asked Prentiss. It wasn't so much that he was angry. He was just very confused about what looked like bonding between Rossi and Reid. Morgan enjoyed his big brother role to Reid. And he didn't want anything coming between them, even if it was another male teammate. He couldn't believe how jealous he was feeling. He looked back at Prentiss with his mouth hanging open.

Prentiss had been surprised to see Rossi and Reid walking together like that. But, so what? Who cared? Prentiss just thought it was a little odd. But Morgan was absolutely flabbergasted! Prentiss laughed out loud when she looked at Morgan and said, "Don't ask me! I'm sitting here just like you. I don't know anything." She just kept laughing to herself as she went back to work. Morgan just punched his desk and sat sulking as he stared at Rossi's closed office door. He wanted to know what was going on. What were they talking about? Why would Reid go to Rossi instead of coming to him. And every time that Prentiss giggled, Morgan just growled to himself.

Reid took a seat as Rossi closed his office door, and then sat behind his desk. Rossi really didn't know how to start the conversation with Reid. He had never thought that he would actually be talking to anyone about this matter. Rossi was grateful that Reid sat patiently, waiting him out. After taking a deep breath, Rossi said, "I just need a minute, Reid." He closed his eyes, took a few more deep breaths, and pulled up his courage to reveal something to this very young genius who sat before him. If anyone in the world could possibly help Rossi, it indeed would be Reid. There wasn't much that Reid didn't know about, whether he actually took advantage of his own knowledge or not.

While Rossi was sitting there with his eyes closed and breathing deeply, he hadn't realized that he was fingering the little black resolutions book that was on his desk. Reid noticed. Reid knew how hard it always was when he wanted to ask, or tell, Morgan anything personal. And he and Morgan were a lot closer than he and Rossi ever were. Reid couldn't bring himself to make any of the opening statements that Morgan usually used on him, such as, "What's going on in that big brain of yours?" or "Come on, Kid. Open up. What's bothering you?" That's just who Morgan was.

So, Reid figured he should just be himself, and use a few of his own skills: his verbal recall and his analytical study of Jung. Rossi had said, quite a few times, the words private and personal. Rossi was feeling out of his comfort zone by revealing whatever was bother him. Watching Rossi repeatedly fingering the resolution book, Reid recalled (word for word) Garcia's handwritten note. Especially the 'Keep it Private' instruction.

Reid took a deep breath, cleared his throat and said, "I understand about private feelings, Rossi. I've never had anyone I could just share my feeling with comfortably. Morgan helps me a lot, but it's still not easy for me to ask or tell him anything. I'm really honoured to even have the chance to help you with something so close to your heart and your mind. I notice you keep touching the resolutions book. Would you like some help with healing a hurt, like Garcia wrote about?" Reid had made sure to keep his eyes focused only on the little resolution book. He didn't want to embarrass Rossi any more than necessary. A few seconds passed by and Reid was beginning to wish he hadn't said anything. Now he wondered what Rossi was thinking. He just wanted Rossi to start the conversation or to kick him out of his office. Something! Anything!

Rossi had kept his eyes closed tightly when Reid began speaking. But when Reid said how honoured he was, a smile broke from Rossi's heart. He opened his eyes and looked at Reid, in awe. He was such a shy, and gentle man. An innocent and an old soul both at the same time. Rossi waited a few seconds after Reid stopped speaking. He wanted Reid to look him in the eyes. When Reid didn't raise his eyes from the book, Rossi picked up the book and handed it to Reid.

Reid looked from the book to Rossi, questioningly. He didn't know why Rossi would give him the book when he already had one from Garcia.

"Take the book, Reid." Rossi said, as he handed the book to Reid. He saw Reid's mouth start to question, but he cut him off. "Open it. Read what I've written on the first page."

Reid opened the book and rapidly read the first page. Then he read it again, as tears filled his eyes. "Oh, Rossi." Reid said.

Rossi eyes started to flood, so he cleared his throat and asked, "Do you still want to help me?"

"Anything, Rossi. Anything at all." Reid said, as his voice faltered a little.

Rossi and Reid agreed that they would not discuss this matter any further at work. They agreed to meet at Rossi's house at 8:00 pm, where they could be assured privacy. They pulled themselves together and wiped away their man-tears as they chuckled about crying. Rossi said, "I for one, love quiche!"

They were still laughing as Reid exited from Rossi's office and closed the door behind him. He was all caught up in what had just happened, and what would be talked about later on at Rossi's house. He didn't notice that Morgan had been staring at him from the moment he had opened Rossi's door. He walked right passed the bullpen into the kitchen to get some coffee.

"What the hell?" Morgan said, under his breath, as Reid seemed to absolutely ignore him when he walked passed.

"For such a dog, I can't believe you! Mister one is never enough. Mister I need variety in my life. You're jealous because Reid talked to another man!" Prentiss gaffawed. She laughed so hard she had to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Shut up, Prentiss!" Morgan growled, as he headed towards the kitchen. He stormed right passed Garcia without any word play. This only made Prentiss lower her head to her desk and laugh even louder.

Garcia stormed over to Prentiss's desk and asked, "What happened to my Chocolate God? What did you do to him? He didn't even speak to me just now?" Garcia had raised her voice and put her hands on her hips as she scowled at Prentiss. This only made Prentiss laugh even harder, as she tried to catch her breath to speak.

"Well, I'm waiting! What did you do to him?" Garcia demanded again.

"Oh, God! Garcia … I need a moment … I can't breathe … just wait. Wait a moment. I need to calm down. It's nothing bad, I promise." Prentiss pleaded, earnestly.

"I'll get you some water." Garcia offered.

"No! Don't go into the kitchen! Morgan's trying to talk to Reid. I'll be alright. Let's go to your office. I'll tell you when we get there." Prentiss said, slowly calming herself down.

As soon as Garcia's door closed, Prentiss told everything. Garcia howled out loud with laughter, and Prentiss joined her full force. JJ was passing down the hallway and heard all the commotion. She knocked and opened Garcia's door, "What's going on in here?"

A few seconds later, all three ladies of the BAU were howling with laughter. As other personnel on that floor passed Garcia's office, they just shook their heads and smiled.

Morgan stomped into the kitchen and stopped abruptly. He stared at Reid, who was sitting at one of the tables … looking very relaxed … deep in thought … and smiling. Reid didn't even look up when Morgan entered the kitchen so loudly. This pissed off Morgan, even more. But he realized that if he wanted to get any information out of Reid, he couldn't approach him angrily. He didn't want to upset Reid. He wasn't angry at Reid. He was angry at Rossi. He knew he was overreacting, but too bad.

Morgan took a few deep breaths, counted to ten, and then casually walked over to the coffee maker. As he made himself a cup of coffee, he lightened up his voice, smiled, and said, "Hey, Kid! What's going on?"

Reid jumped a little because he hadn't noticed Morgan before he heard him speaking. Morgan didn't like that Reid jumped. He thought it was guilt that made Reid so jumpy.

"What?" Reid asked, as he finally looked at Morgan.

Morgan sucked in his cheeks, as he walked over to the table and sat down opposite Reid. He eye-balled Reid for a few seconds. This usually worked. Reid usually crumbled and revealed whatever Morgan wanted to know, but not this time. Reid just sat there looking at Morgan and wearing that little smile.

"I said … Hey, Kid! What's going on?" Morgan watched Reid closely. He was looking for Reid's usual fidgeting moves when he was nervous. There weren't any. This wasn't good. It wasn't that he wanted to make Reid uncomfortable. He hated when Reid was upset, embarrassed, or uncomfortable in any manner. Now, Morgan was confused. How was he going to help Reid, if Reid didn't seem to need his help. Damn that Rossi, trying to replace him.

"Nothing … Nothing's going on … Nothing at all. I'm just sitting here for a moment. I was thinking about something … that's all." Reid stated, haltingly. Suddenly, he was feeling nervous about the way Morgan was trying to stare into his soul. Morgan was trying to get him to tell him something. He didn't have anything to tell this time, except about Rossi. That was definitely NOT going to happen. He promised Rossi, and he kept his promises. Always.

"What did Rossi want? You were in his office for a while?" Morgan asked. He knew Reid was awful at lying. If he didn't find out what the truth was, he would know that Reid was lying to him. That was going to suck.

Reid frowned and stared into his coffee cup. He hated lying. He thought it was dishonourable, and beneath him. Plus, he wasn't any good at it. Reid's mouth started watering, and he made a few strong swallows. Morgan saw Reid's adam's apple bobbing up and down and knew he was going to be told a lie. Morgan sat there, determined to wait Reid out.

Rossi left his office. He stopped by Hotch's office and asked if he wanted to join him for a cup of coffee. Hotch agreed and they both made their way to the kitchen. They both noticed that the bullpen was empty. "Where is everybody?" Rossi asked. Hotch just shook his head as they continued towards the kitchen. Just before they turned into the doorway, they heard Reid's voice faltering as he said, "That's all." Rossi put his hand on Hotch's arm to stop him, and they listened for a moment. Then they heard Morgan demanding to know what Rossi had wanted, and why Reid had been in his office. Reid's continued silence bothered both Hotch and Rossi. For different reasons, of course. Rossi didn't want his private conversation revealed, and Hotch didn't want Morgan badgering Reid, if Reid didn't want to talk about it. Hotch didn't know anything about Reid talking to Rossi, and he didn't care. That wasn't the point.

"Morgan!" Hotch called out, as soon as he and Rossi entered the kitchen. This time Morgan and Reid jumped. Hotch walked right up to the table and said, "Leave Reid alone. Whatever he and Rossi discussed, didn't involve you … did it?" Hotch looked directly into Morgan's eyes as he spoke.

Now it was Morgan who's mouth watered, and who's adam's apple bobbed. He wasn't physically scared of Hotch. Hotch just had a way of putting, and keeping, everybody in their place. Stoic wasn't a strong enough word for the power Hotch wielded from within. "No, Sir." Morgan replied as he lowered his eyes from Hotch's and stood up from the table to leave.

After Morgan passed Hotch, he blatantly glared at Rossi on his way out of the kitchen. Rossi looked at Reid's saddened expression. He knew that Morgan and Reid were close. He didn't want to be the cause of any problems between the brotherly friends.

"Morgan, I was having trouble recalling certain details about that case in Buffalo, a couple of months ago. You know, the one about the UnSub who obsessed and stalked all of his victims. Reid's perfect recall helped me out a lot, but I need a little more help with comprehending the true depths of that UnSub's obsessions. I'm giving a lecture in two months, and thought that case would cover a lot of ground for the students." Rossi said, as Morgan dropped his glare. Hotch continued making his coffee. And Reid looked so thoroughly grateful for Rossi's capacity to lie, when needed.

"Sure, Rossi. Whenever you're ready, just let me know. That UnSub really was a classic example of how wide a range obsessions cover." Morgan said, happily. He was so glad that was what Reid and Rossi had been talking about. And only that. He still had his little brother that would come to him. "Sorry about that, Pretty Boy. I can't believe I felt so left out and jealous. I like being your big brother, the one you go to for help. Are we cool?" Morgan said, earnestly.

Reid thought it was funny that Morgan was clueless to the fact that Rossi had lied. He was so grateful that Morgan was satisfied and wouldn't be harassing him about it anymore. "Of course, we're cool!" Reid replied, grinning widely. Thank goodness he and Rossi would be meeting only after hours at Rossi's house. He really didn't like being the cause of Morgan's anxiety, or anger. He appreciated how Morgan looked out for him. He appreciated it very much.

_**A/N: The next chapter will be December 31**__**st**__**. Don't worry details will be revealed about Rossi's private matter. Please leave me a review and tell me how I did writing Rossi's and Reid's characters. And tell me what you think about this story as a whole. Thank you.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 4

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. **_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

**December 24****th**

Rossi and Reid had been meeting secretly since December 15th. It wasn't surprising that the rest of the team never found out because they knew that Rossi usually did his own thing afterhours, as did Reid. Sure, sometimes they went for drinks with the party gang of Morgan, Garcia, Prentiss, and frequently even JJ joined them. It was only on big occasions or really, really, bad cases when Hotch, Rossi, and Reid attended.

The first night Reid went to Rossi's house was a little uncomfortable, as expected. It was 8:00 pm exactly when Reid knocked on Rossi's door. Rossi led Reid into the living room and offered him a drink. Reid usually didn't drink a lot, but he felt he needed a little something to help him relax. It was a very cold night, and Rossi's home was cozy, comfy, and beautiful. The warmth radiating from the fireplace added just the right touch.

As soon as they both had their drinks in-hand, they sat down on opposite couches and tried to relax in each other's company. Rossi suggested that tonight they just talk a little about themselves, nothing too deep, just enough to relate to each other better. It would make it easier for Rossi to work with Reid on such a personal matter. Rossi admitted to Reid that by now he knew everything that the team knew about Reid. The problem was that only Hotch really knew Rossi. Rossi did most of the talking, which was fine with Reid.

Rossi offered Reid something to eat because they were now on their second drinks. Rossi did not want Reid leaving drunk. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Reid on his drive home. Reid thoroughly enjoyed Rossi's gourmet home-cooked food. Eating together meant a lot to Rossi. It put his mind, and his nerves to rest. Not many people still believe in the power of breaking bread together, and the trust that it symbolizes. The further Rossi talked about himself as a person, his beliefs, and his convictions in life, Reid was amazed that with the type of work Rossi did, that Rossi really was a _Real-live_ _Old-World Italian-American_, a man living out of his time.

When Reid talked about himself as a person, his beliefs, and his convictions in life, Rossi was amazed that with the type of work that Reid did, what Reid really was. He was not just a Genius with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory. He was much more than that. As Rossi continued listening closely to Reid, the eldest daughter of Rossi's oldest friend came to mind. She was the only person Rossi had met who had Asperger's Syndrome. Rossi had researched everything available at that time about Asperger's. They called themselves Aspies. They enjoyed their minds and cared very little about the so-called normal society's nonsense. She was so uniquely out of touch with the world, and yet completely self-sustained in her beliefs of honour, integrity, and her virtually unbreachable convictions in life. Rossi was convinced that Reid was an Aspie. Rossi wondered if Reid even knew that's what he was. Rossi chose not to mention it that first night, but he would soon speak with Reid about it. Rossi's research had revealed that the people who had Asperger's Syndrome overwhelmingly welcomed that diagnosis. It comforted them that they were in fact not crazy, or going crazy. Both scientifically, and physiologically, scientists and doctors had proven that the brain of an Aspie was different from all other brains. It was not a mental health issue. They were not people with Mental Retardation, nor were they Autistic. They were something else entirely. Aspies were unique, extremely so. Every Aspie was originally different from all other Aspies. It was very fascinating to read about them. Rossi was going to look up the latest research over the weekend. They were the something 'much more', just like Reid. Underneath all of Reid's spouted statistics, and total recall of immense knowledge, laid the heart of a _True-Life Renaissance Man_, another man living completely out of his time. An Aspie!

Neither Rossi nor Reid were aware, at that moment, that their conversation had sealed their new friendship and had begun an unbreakable bond between them. That first evening ended early with the new plan of meeting every Wednesday night for the next weeks, at least. Rossi promised that he would start talking seriously about his problem when they met at his house next week.

The second night they met at Rossi's house was during the week of Christmas. Reid showed up on time, and they had a glass of wine as they sat in Rossi's living room. Not even ten minutes had passed before Rossi said, "Ok, Reid. I'm just going to say this … I've met so many people in my lifetime. I've been married three times. I've worked with many groups of people. Yet in all this time, I've only ever truly felt 100% comfortable with five people, other than my family. My ex-wives are NOT counted amongs those five people. Until very recently, that number had been four people, and they had all died many years ago. It's not that I'm lonely for company. I still meet and date various beautiful women. I attend formal dinners and events with people that I know socially. I've reached the age when I had always thought I would have true die-hard friends to talk from the heart with, to console, and to be consoled. That's the kind of friend that I always was … when they were alive." Rossi finally took a break, closed his eyes, and a few deep breaths. He opened his eyes, and smiled gently and sadly at Reid.

As soon as Rossi opened his eyes, Reid said, "Wow! That's almost how I've always felt. If I would ever have had even one true friend, that's the kind of friend I would have been, too. The team always feels sorry for me because they think that I'm lonely. But I'm not. I'm just alone. I wouldn't mind having a true friend … but … I … I don't know how … um …" Reid just sort of ran out of words, and steam. Then he tilted his head and said, "Wait a minute. You said you recently found one true friend, so you're not alone anymore, right?" Reid asked, confused.

"Reid, I was talking about you. That is, if you would like to be my one true friend. Or as the kids say, my BFF?" Rossi smiled and waited for Reid to understand what he had just said.

Reid's eyes popped open almost as wide as his mouth fell open. "Really, Rossi? You think of me as your one true friend? How? Since when? I mean …" Reid started babbling on.

Rossi cut him short, and said, "Yes. Definitely. I don't really know. Since we talked last week. See, we're becoming a little alike already. I answered your four questions in order, just like you do to people." Rossi and Reid both laughed. Rossi continued, "Believe me, I'm almost as surprised as you are. I'm not mistaken. Deep inside both of us, is the same soul. We look and act completely differently. We didn't know before because we've never spoken to each other from our hearts as opposed to our outward personas. But when we talked last week, I saw myself in you. It's been years, many years since I've felt I had true friends to keep me company through life. I feel that with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about sex, gayness, or physical love. I'm talking about best friendship. Do anything for the othership. Do you understand me?"

"Rossi, there is no such word as othership. But I do understand you. I've thought a lot about what we talked about last week. I would never have known who you really are inside. I'm so glad we talked. I'm so glad you want to be my friend … and that you want me to be yours. Without either of us having to pretend to be something we really are not." Reid finished, grinning.

Rossi raised his glass, and Reid raised his. "A Toast! To Othership!" Rossi exclaimed.

"To Othership!" Reid said, as he clinked his glass to Rossi's.

"You know Reid, I love when the Fates smile upon me. I never expected to find a true friend again. That wasn't even what I wanted you to help me with." Rossi said.

"But, you wrote on page one about wanting some friends in your day-to-day life, not just memories of those who have passed away." Reid questioned, a little confused.

"That's exactly right, Reid. I'm not foolish enough to think that you and I can hang out every day, and do everything together. There's too wide of an age gap between us, but that doesn't stop you and I from still being BFF's. We will always be able to talk heart-to-heart, man-to-man to each other. We'll be able to never ever feel that we are alone in this world. Nor will we ever feel that we are 'only being tolerated occasionally' by others. We can have great in depth discussions about anything and everything whenever we feel the need to do so. We can always completely drop our facades with each other. That kind of Othership is what keeps your soul from ever feeling alone in this wide universe. That's how I've been feeling for the past week. I'm not alone anymore, and neither are you! Have you felt any different this past week?" Rossi asked.

"Yes! I have thought a lot about it, wishing we were friends. I wasn't sure if we would ever have any more serious conversations, but I was hoping. Thank you, Rossi. Yes! We are now officially BFF's!" Reid giggled as he raised his glass and Rossi clinked it with his glass.

Rossi put his glass down and said, "So, as I was trying to explain … I want to be more involved with the team. I want to try and have fun with them, like they do with each other. Again, I'm not saying that this old man wants to run around like he's a young kid or anything. I just want to be friendlier with the team, socially. I want them not to stiffen up when I talk to them. I know I can be very intimidating, even when I'm not trying to be. So to sum up my resolution in one sentence, per the instructions in Garcia's book: _**'I want the team to have more fun around me, and not stiffen up so much.'**_ How's that sound? Do you think you can help me figure out how to do this?" Rossi asked.

Reid looked at Rossi, and said, "Well, Rossi … I'm not really good at chit chat. Um … er … Maybe I should tell you what my personal resolution is. Maybe you can help me too? Uh … " Reid again faltered. He felt fine about it because he was only talking to his best friend, who fully accepted him as he was. This was a very interesting experience for Reid.

"Just do what I did, Reid. Put it in one sentence, as best as you can." Rossi said, encouragingly.

"Ok." Reid said, "So, to sum up my resolution in one sentence, per the instructions in Garcia's book: _**'To spend at least 1 hour every day not analyzing, or theorizing, or critically thinking about anything!'**_ I've been planning and detailing how to go about it since November." Reid said, as he watched for Rossi's reaction.

"I think we can really help each other with our resolutions. Believe it or not, I spend the majority of my day keeping YOUR resolution." Rossi said, as they both laughed and finished their drinks.

They chatted for about another hour. They both felt good knowing that they each would always have a friend to help them, privately. Rossi asked Reid what he was doing for Christmas, if he was going to Las Vegas to see his mother. Reid explained quickly how he and his mother didn't celebrated Christmas, and he was just going to stay home, alone. Reid wasn't looking forward to the usual end of year badgering he always got from the team. He hoped this year that they would just let him be. He'd rather stay home because he never felt truly comfortable with them. He loved them, and did believe that they cared for him, but he never felt he fitted in well. He couldn't just relax like they did.

Rossi took this new info in and thought for a few moments. He asked, "Reid, last week and tonight, have you felt truly comfortable here in my home?"

"That's what so surprised me. I feel very comfortable here. I can't even explain it, I just do." Reid said.

"See Kid, you're helping me already. When I get to work tomorrow, I'm going to invite the team here for a Christmas Eve brunch/lunch/party, whatever they want … for as many hours as they want. Do you think they'll come?" Rossi asked, hopefully.

"Christmas Eve is only two days away. Is that enough time to plan and prepare everything? They consume a whole lot of food and liquor when they get together. Is there enough time?" Reid started worrying for Rossi's sake.

"Reid, I have almost as much money as God. Everything, even the toothpicks, is just one phone call away. I'm a top client of a fabulous caterer. There's no such thing as 'last minute' when I call them. Do you think the team will come? Eating and drinking might help them be less stiff around me. I am an excellent host. I learned everything from my mother, her mother, and even her mother. I love to entertain. It relaxes me, and I'm thinking that if I'm relaxed, and they eat and drink, then they will relax. Do you think they'd all come?" Rossi asked again.

"To tell you the truth, Rossi, I think they'd drop EVERYTHING, and everyone, just to have the chance to even enter your home. I won't name names, or anything, but … they do discuss you a lot. Not Hotch, of course, he knows you better than the rest of the team. Sometimes they speculate about your home and your cars, and your money, and your high-society entourage. It's never mean, what they say. It's more like the public's fascination with the Rich and Glamorous. Even Morgan, if you can believe it. If you invite them tomorrow, I'm sure they will all come. I know I will." Reid finished, feeling very positive.

It was really getting late but the roads were clear and dry, and Reid had only had one glass of mild wine. That was the only reason Rossi let him drive home that night.

The Christmas Eve brunch/lunch/party was a smash! It started at 10:00 am and everybody stayed at Rossi's house until 9:30 pm. Rossi's caterers did everything, but everything had an elegant, yet very casual appearance. Rossi did not want any servers there. He thought that would seem a bit stiff and uppity to his team. So, everything was laid out buffet-style, elegantly, yet casual. There were wonderful stations of exquisite munchables in the kitchen, the dining room and the grand family room, along with bottled waters, beers, wines, and liquors … all high quality, of course!

Once the team had all arrived, Rossi had gathered them together. He gave them a tour of his extensive home. As he showed them around room after room of his personal keepsakes and artworks, Rossi shared his deep appreciation of his beloved treasures. He explained the comfort that he got from them. It wasn't their value that mattered to Rossi. It was the old-world artistry that he appreciated, and thoroughly respected.

That night, each of the team (including Hotch) felt a lot closer to understanding the man they knew as Rossi. They were surprised how much they learned about him after spending just one day in his home. The man they spent time with today, was the same man that they worked with almost every day. How many times had they all heard the phrase 'don't judge a book by it's cover', and yet that is exactly what they had done. Not just to Rossi, but to each other and everyone that they knew.

Personal resolutions were very much on each teammate's mind as they each went to sleep, on the night of Christmas Eve.

_**A/N – Sorry about that, I said this chapter would be December 31**__**st**__**, but I couldn't completely skip over Christmas Eve. Garcia would never have allowed that. Next chapter is definitely the 31**__**st**__**. Please send reviews (long or short) and tell me something. You are the readers. Your opinions count a lot. **_


	5. Chapter 5

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 5

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. **_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

**December 31st **

All day long, people kept saying it over, and over to anyone who would listen and care, as well as saying it to those who didn't care. Reid didn't count himself amongst either category, really. He simply responded the same to almost everyone who said to him, "Happy New Year, in case I don't see you later on."

Reid's standard response had always been, "Thanks, same to you and yours." He learned that patterned response from his mother. It was straight forward, and considered polite enough, by normal social standards. Yet, it was also empty enough to leave a vacant and cold area in the hearts of others. That helped make most people not want to engage him further into their inane world of conversation. That really was all he had that worked for him. Reid didn't not wish people well, he just never felt comfortable saying the things that most people said. Reid was okay at pomp, but not at circumstance. Pomp held an ancient and historic place in the world, for good or bad, but circumstance was as flighty as a sheet of paper in the wind. Circumstance had no constant structure, no bounds, and no real purpose, although, it ruled most peoples' lives. Well, it didn't rule his at all.

Thankfully, Reid's cell phone rang. If not, he would have found himself trapped in his prior discourse. That's what circumstance was good for, sometimes. It broke through his mind's deep fugues and brought him back to the moment at hand. He laughed out loudly as he answered his phone. It was a quick call. Just a simple geographical question about an area Garcia was reviewing. It's a good thing that the conversation didn't entail any tragic discussion, because Reid could hardly stop laughing during the non-humorous phone call.

Reid sat at his desk slightly shaking his head and laughing beautifully. He had suddenly recalled the paper that he had turned in to his sixth grade science teacher. He had postulated that time travel was indeed possible even though it was yet to be proved. It was obviously able to happen. Matter has dimensions of height, width, and length, along with a host of other terms of measurement and comparison. The mind has levels of consciousness capable of altered states of mentality. He had lived with, and taken care of his mother, so he knew a lot about altered states of mind. Last, but not least, time has dimensions. Put it all together and you have three of the four things required for time travel. Reid had ended his paper as follows: "I have identified three of the four requirements. Can you name the fourth? Let me know as soon as you have your answer. Then we can discuss this further. Thank you." It wasn't until many years later, that Reid finally understood why that teacher had been so angry at him." Still laughing softly, Reid went to the break room for another cup of coffee.

Garcia had corralled her team in the conference room at 9:00 am and informed everyone that they were all meeting at the team's favorite restaurant and bar at 9:00 pm sharp! Garcia then turned and looked directly at Hotch. She put one hand on her hip and said, sternly, "Does anyone have an excuse as to why they cannot attend?"

There were giggles and smirks around the room, everyone was watching to see how Hotch would respond. He met Garcia's staring challenge with his most stoic facial expression, ever! Hotch focused his straight-faced glare directly at Garcia. He held that glare until the giggles and smirks turned to faces of worry and anxiety. Then, Hotch laughed out loudly and said, "No excuses will be tolerated from anyone, Garcia. And that includes me."

That made everyone laugh, even Garcia, who had really started to freak out. All day at work, the BAU team was in a very festive mood. Even Hotch was caught a number of times smiling at one person, or another.

At 11:00 pm on New Year's Eve, Reid was where he chose to be … at home. He had spent some time earlier in the evening sharing a toast with his team and wishing them well, and using not just his standard statement. He actually wished everything in the world for them, and he put it into as many sincere words as he could. Next to his mother, this team was his family.

Reid had insisted that he had to be home before 11:00 pm, but he wouldn't tell his teammates why. Only Rossi knew the reason, and he said, "You do what you have to do, Kid." Rossi knew that Reid felt it was as necessary as blowing out birthday candles, making a wish, and keeping it secret. If you tell, then your wish doesn't come true. Reid had more to lose than just a wish. He had made decisions! Reid knew the history of such beliefs, though he did not actually believe in vexes, curses, or superstitions. Still, he took no chances at vexing his plans, or encouraging bad things to happen.

Reid went over everything one. more. time. His plan had to be perfect, or he would fail. That was unacceptable to him. At 11:30 pm, Reid started his nightly ritual and prepared for bed. All along, he kept finessing his plans and building up confidence within himself.

At 11:45 pm, Reid's phone rang. It was Rossi.

"I know you're still busy, Reid. Don't worry, I won't keep you long. I just called to wish you a Happy New Year, Reid. And to thank you for being my one best friend. Thank you for all you've helped me with these past two weeks. I'm still out with the team. Would you believe that I tried to skip out and go home, but they pleaded, actually pleaded, and begged me to stay with them. That's never ever happened before with the team. I really feel good about maintaining my resolutions next year. Thank you, again!" Rossi said, sincerely.

"Rossi, I wish you the very best New Year you've ever had. I'm so glad we're real friends. I felt much more comfortable tonight than I've ever felt when we all go out. I don't think anyone other than you noticed. But it did feel really good inside. I was still a little quiet, I know. I've been trying not to employ any of my plans until we all get back to work. I don't want to waste any good stuff before the new year, when my resolution counts." Reid said, with a slight chuckle.

Rossi and Reid talked for a few more moments. There was no work tomorrow, so Rossi suggested that Reid come over to his home and get in some last minute practice on chit chatting. Rossi said he had some more opening lines that he'd written down for Reid. Another important part of their Reid plan was that once they both got back to work, Rossi was going to be very implemental in subtly setting up chit chat scenarios for Reid to take over.

Reid agreed to meet at Rossi's house at 11:00 am, tomorrow morning. They said their goodnights and another round of heartfelt Happy New Year's to each other. They hung up at five minutes before midnight. Reid was keeping his plan of lights out at midnight, and Rossi had just enough time to get back to the team before the big countdown.

_**A/N: I hope this chapter wasn't too short. I think it covered what needed to be covered. The next chapter will be longer. It will cover January 1**__**st**__**. Please leave me a review. I need to know what you think, good or bad, just pleasantly phrased. Yes, I am an Aspie. I rely heavily on honesty, honour, and dignity. So please, feel free to be totally truthful, but kind. **_


	6. Chapter 6

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 6

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story. **_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

**January 1st**

At the stroke of midnight, Reid set his alarm clock and went to bed. He was glad he didn't have to go to work on New Year's Day. Reid alternated deep inhalations and slow exhalations as he mantra'd himself to sleep repeating: I can do this … It will work … I can do this … It will work …

At 7:30 am, Reid hit the 10-minute snooze button on his alarm clock and smiled. He was surprised that he had slept peacefully for 7 ½ hours. Most nights, he only slept a few hours at a time. Every morning, Reid usually got up as soon as he woke up, but not today. This was the first day of the rest of his new life. There were changes that had been agreed upon, and therefore would be implemented starting today.

Reid's resolution plan included quite a few tricks to aide him. _**Trick #1: Do not jump right out of bed unless there's an emergency. **_So he lay there just watching the sunlight filter through his window._** Trick #2: What would so-and-so be doing right now? **_ Reid chose to think about JJ. He often saw her just relaxing and smiling at one thing, or another. She often looked so content and peaceful. Reid never asked her what she was thinking about. Now he was glad that he didn't know, because he would have analyzed the shit out of it. He smiled and just kept picturing those peaceful JJ moments in his mind's eye.

When the snooze alarm went off, Reid got out of bed. He grabbed his new notebook and pen from the nightstand, and headed to the kitchen for coffee. Once he got the coffee started, Reid sat down at the table and opened the notebook to the first page and wrote: _**January 1st - 7:30 am to 7:40 am – lay in bed watching the sunlight and remembering JJ moments. It was nice. I feel good.**_ Reid closed his notebook. Then he took his notebook, pen, and coffee into the living room.

_**Trick #3: Place quick calls on the phone.**_ Reid was no good at common social chitchat, but everyone else sure was. Reid realized that he could use that to his advantage working towards his resolution. It was definitely less embarrassing than trying to physically approach someone for nonsense conversations. It was easier to hide any pained expressions from their view. Reid just had to keep them on the phone talking about _themselves_ for about 5 minutes, more or less. His team talked almost constantly to each other, and most of it was idle chitchat of which he never joined in, because he didn't know how. Reid was never ready with spontaneous personal thoughts to share. All he ever had ready on the tip of his tongue were facts and statistics.

Reid wanted to start with Morgan first, but it was way too early for Morgan to be up after a big night out and no work today. Reid thought about calling Hotch. He went home early last night. He had little Jack to be up early with on his day off. Ok. Take a few deep breathes and try to relax a little. Alright, just a few more deep breathes.

Hotch was concerned when he picked up his phone and saw Reid's name displayed. He knew that the team had stayed out late drinking and dancing. He hoped they hadn't been driving drunk. He did not want to hear that his team was injured, or in trouble. Hotch answered his phone, "Reid?"

"Good Morning, Hotch. I hope I'm not disturbing you too much." Reid replied, secretly grimacing and hoping that he really wasn't disturbing Hotch too much.

"Reid, is everything all right? Are you ok?" Hotch asked, sounding very concerned and distressed.

Reid was glad that Hotch didn't sound angry, but now he was sorry that Hotch was distressed. "Oh! No! I'm fine. Everything's OK. I didn't mean to cause you any worry. I'm sorry." Reid started sputtering, as he usually did when he was worried, or embarrassed.

"Reid, calm down. It's OK. It's just that you usually don't call me outside of work. I thought something bad might have happened. I'm glad you're OK." Hotch said. Then he chuckled and said, "And, by the way, Happy New Year's, Reid!"

"Thanks! Happy New Year's to you, too. In fact, that's the reason that I called you, to wish you a Happy New Year's." Reid replied. He felt a little more relaxed.

"Well, this is a first! You've never done this before, at least not with me." Hotch said, smiling into the phone. He was proud of Reid for taking such a big social step.

"I know. I've never done this with anyone other than my Mom. I don't really understand calling people without having something specific to discuss …" Reid faltered a little at the end. Thinking this wasn't going well anymore because he didn't have anything else ready to say to Hotch.

"Reid! You're doing great. Don't give up on our conversation, yet. It's my turn to come up with something to say … OK? … Can we keep talking?" Hotch asked, gently.

"Yeah, Hotch. Thanks a lot. But I've got to tell you … I used up my Happy New Year's greeting … now I don't know what else to say … to you … right now …" Reid rambled on.

"Reid, you're saying it. You're doing it. You call someone and say what you want to say to them. Then they say what they want to say to you. And if you have nothing else to say … then you tell them, "That's all I really called to say." Then it's their turn again. They'll either have something else to tell you, or ask you. If they don't, then they'll say something like, "OK, thanks for calling. Talk to you later." Then you say, "OK, goodbye." And that's the end of a social chitchat conversation, be it by phone or in person. So, tell me: Have I helped you, or confused you?" Hotch asked. He really was enjoying talking to Reid, socially and helpfully. No real analyzing, just relating from one person to another. He really hoped Reid was beginning to understand what was happening.

"Really? That's it? This is all it consists of? Those are the only rules to social chitchatting?" Reid asked. He was absolutely dumbfounded. Being a genius, he was not used to being dumbfounded. He didn't think that he had ever been dumbfounded before. Maybe he'd felt taken aback once or twice, but never ever had he been dumbfounded. Reid laughed out loud, heartily.

Listening to Reid laugh, made Hotch laugh just as loudly. "Yes, Reid. That's it completely. You probably couldn't figure it out because it's so very simple. Or, as you might say, "It's an uneducated and inelegant solution to a major problem of yours." Hotch grinned, as he waited for Reid's next comment.

"I was just thinking that myself! It's so … so … simple! As much as I've been surrounded by it throughout my life, I always thought I was missing something that people were doing. I thought it might be in the approach of the initiator, or in the expectation of the recipient. But it's not, is it?" Reid asked, still sounding amazed at this golden nugget of knowledge.

"No, Reid. It isn't anything except what I told you." Hotch replied. They continued talking about how easy it was talking together. They chatted for a while.

"Reid, would you believe that we've been chatting for 40 minutes. This is the longest social conversation I've ever had with you in over seven years. I've enjoyed it. Have you?" Hotch asked.

"I have enjoyed it, Hotch. Thank you so much for helping me. I'm not used to asking for help, and that wasn't even why I called you. Though I now see in action what you said. How one statement or question can lead to a random response or a random answer … which in turn can start up another volley of chitchat. I can't believe that I've actually sat here simply chitchatting for 40 minutes, well 45 minutes now. I've never sat and done nothing for this long. I haven't even been analyzing what you've said. I'll try not to because I like how this worked out. I do understand that chitchat conversations won't always last this long with someone, and that they shouldn't have to. It's like rolling something down a slanted surface. When the speed dies down, it will stop. And that's all the analyzing I'm going to do with this." Reid said, sounding very upbeat and feeling proud of himself.

"And on that note, I'm going to say, "Well, thanks for calling, Reid. I've enjoyed chatting with you. Haley and I are taking Jack out early this afternoon. We've got a few things we have to do before then. So you take care, and I hope to talk to you again soon."… Now, what do you say to me?" Hotch queried, like an etiquette coach.

"I say, "I've enjoyed chatting with you, too … I hope you and your family have a great day … um … Talk to you later, goodbye." Reid said, laughing and sounding like an old pro at this.

"Goodbye, Reid." Hotch laughed and then disconnected the call.

Reid closed his phone and sat there on the sofa shaking his head and grinning from ear to ear. He was still surprised that a simple phone call that he thought wouldn't even last 5 minutes, ended up lasting 50 minutes. That plus the 10 minutes that he had lain in bed this morning had fulfilled his Daily One Hour Resolution. Wow!

Reid wasn't anticipating all future social chitchat conversations to last in the range of 50 minutes. He now understood why chitchat conversations lasted anywhere from as little as 30 seconds up to an hour, or more. Reid felt wonderful as he picked up his notebook and pen. He made his brief notations regarding his 50 minute phone call with Hotch. He wrote down word for word exactly how Hotch had explained the structure of social chitchat. Reid finished writing his resolution notes and then went and got dressed.

Reid decided that he wasn't going to place anymore calls today. Though he anticipated that they would work out well enough, he felt he should save everything else for tomorrow. That would be the real challenge: being outside and around people. Therefore, Reid planned to fully pay attention to Rossi today, and take notes. He didn't really need notes because of his eidetic memory, but he realized he could use his notebook as a prop. Carrying around his notebook would give him something to do with his hands other than to fidget or wedge them into his pockets. It would help him focus on the actual chitchat at hand and not let his embarrassment take over.

Rossi was very happy when he woke up this morning. He was very hungover, but still very happy. He'd had so much fun last night celebrating with his young teammates. Ever since the morning of his Christmas Brunch, his younger teammates almost couldn't leave him alone for a minute. His work days used to consist of only hard work. When a case wasn't being actively discussed, Rossi was alone in his office all day. The younger teammates never interrupted him. They bugged Hotch all day any time they had a question, or a problem. They would even interrupt Hotch just to chat, or to tell a quick joke.

Rossi knew all the pressures that Hotch was under at work and at home. He knew how serious a man Hotch was, just like him. Rossi even thought that Hotch's standard facial expressions put his to shame … talk about a stone face! It didn't matter to the team one bit. They were all over Hotch every day. Rossi was a proud man. He was raised not to show his weakness, to anyone. That was also why he had three ex-wives, no current girlfriend, and no friends … until very recently.

Every time Rossi thought about his new best friendship with Reid, he had to laugh. Who would ever have imagined they could be real friends. Reid was so young, chronologically and emotionally. He wasn't immature, that wasn't it. Basically, Reid had been ostracized his whole life. He had never been sincerely invited into other peoples lives, always left outside the world of friendship ... looking in with his nose pressed up against the windowpane.

When Rossi had first been introduced to Reid, he immediately did not to like him. It wasn't a conscious decision on Rossi's part, it was an automatic reaction to the young genius. Rossi was used to putting people in their place, and they usually had enough sense to stay there. The other young teammates understood from the start 'don't fuck with Rossi because he doesn't take any shit!' Reid was the only one who didn't get it. Reid didn't seem to understand any of the blatantly rude expressions, reactions, and comments that Rossi sent his way. Too much time had gone by before Rossi finally realized that his constant behavior towards the young genius was what had turned the other teammates dead set against Rossi. Even after Rossi became less cruel to Reid, it was too late. No matter how many times Rossi tried to interact with the young team, they rebuffed him … just short of being complete disrespectful of his seniority. By then, poor Reid had given up trying to make Rossi like him. Rossi had done a lot of things in his life that he wasn't very proud of, but he had never been ashamed of himself or any of his actions … until after he had been mistreating Reid. Though Reid was in his twenties, he was still an innocent, pure of heart, pure of mind. Reid deserved better from the world.

Hotch had remained silent on the issue during the first two weeks of Rossi's return to the BAU. He'd known Rossi for years, knew him to be a hard but honest man. Hotch also knew how very different this new younger team seemed to Rossi. Add onto that someone as uniquely different as Reid, and it automatically spelt disaster. No one thought Hotch had noticed the line that his team had drawn leaving Rossi the lone man on one side. Rossi himself hadn't even noticed it yet. Hotch knew it would be way too late before Rossi figured it out.

Hotch thought that Reid had been holding up pretty well against Rossi's cruel ways, but he was wrong. Over the years Reid had learned to pretend he didn't care and would shut himself off from the world that always hurt him. It had only been since joining the BAU that Reid finally began to blossom into himself. He was still nervous and inexperienced being around people, but he was beginning to feel he'd found a real family with his team. Reid was thought of as their little baby brother and the team swore they would move hell and earth to love and protect him, from everything and everyone.

By the end of Rossi's second week, Hotch had had enough. He needed Rossi on his team, but Hotch need and wanted Reid more. His team was falling apart watching Reid silently withdrawing away from them. Morgan was beginning to outwardly disrespect Rossi, just like Rossi had been treating Reid. JJ and Prentiss were caught evil-eying Rossi a couple of times. Garcia coming and complaining to Hotch was the final straw. If the situation was bad enough to make Garcia, of all people, break down and cry … then it had gone way too far.

Hotch hadn't been there when it happened, he had left early yesterday afternoon. Garcia told Hotch how the team had been working hard when suddenly Reid fell over in his chair. The outrageous laughter between Morgan, Prentiss, and a little bit of Reid's had drawn her and JJ out of the kitchen to see what was so funny.

They were standing in the bullpen as Morgan explained how he had been teasing Reid, and Reid reached over too far and fell out of his chair. All five of them were standing around laughing as Reid was just sitting on the floor beside his fallen chair, laughing and trying to pout at the same time, which only made everything even funnier. When suddenly Rossi slammed his door open, marched to the railing and shouted down, "What the hell is going on down there?" He didn't give anyone time to answer, he marched down the stairs, stormed over to Reid, stood over him and shouted at him, "Where do you think you are? Get the fuck off the floor, sit down, and get back to work." Then he turned and shouted at the rest of them, "All of you!" Then he marched back up to his office and slammed his door closed.

Garcia told Hotch that it took her, JJ and, Prentiss to restrain Morgan from going up there and kicking Rossi's ass. They had to physically drag Morgan to Garcia's office to calm him down. When she looked back at Reid sitting at his desk with his head down, she saw Reid wipe away his tears. Garcia knew better than to dare tell Morgan. She didn't even tell JJ and Prentiss because they were both ready to rip out Rossi's heart and his eyeballs. Garcia left JJ and Prentiss in her office calming Morgan down. She went back to Reid's desk and asked if he was alright. He wouldn't even look at her. Reid just kept his head down, and nodded quickly, but he wouldn't say a word. As Garcia walked away, her heart broke again when she heard Reid sniffling.

Reid never said another word for the rest of the day. He would just nod or just give them the information they needed. But he wouldn't speak, nor look anyone in the eye. He left immediately as soon as he finished his work. Reid didn't even say goodbye to anyone. Morgan tried to go after him, but Reid just shook his head and left.

That was what had brought Hotch to Rossi's office the next day. Hotch closed the blinds and sat down. He didn't bother telling Rossi that he knew what had happened. Rossi knew someone on the team had ratted him out. Rossi was adamantly going to stand his ground against what ever so-called chastising he thought Hotch was going to give him. Rossi was surprised when Hotch just sat there and began telling a long tragic story that started twenty-five years ago in Las Vegas. Hotch never named Reid by name. He didn't have to. Rossi paid close attention to everything Hotch said as he spoke of crisis followed by drama, then followed by crisis followed by drama, then over and over repeatedly.

By the time Hotch told Rossi what had happened yesterday, as part of the story, Rossi felt so ashamed of himself. He wouldn't let his eyes water, but tears did fall in Rossi's heart. It was Rossi who now hung his head and had nothing to say, knowing that nothing could ever justify how badly he had been treating young Reid. Hotch quietly got up, opened the blinds, and left Rossi's office without saying another word, just closing the door behind him.

Today was January 1st. The start of another brand new year. Time to make amends. Starting today, and every day, Rossi was going to give every ounce of help, hope, and encouragement to Reid. He finally got out of bed and got dressed. It was 9:00 am and he only had 2 hours to prepare for Reid, whom he knew would be ringing his bell at 11:00 am sharp.

_**A/N: I sort of got carried away in this chapter. It was supposed to be about humourous practice sessions with Rossi and Reid, but I felt I needed to put in some more back story right about now. I hope you liked it. Let me know. Next chapter will be up by or before this weekend. I'm running out of time … the January 31**__**st**__** deadline is right round the corner. Help Me!**_


	7. Chapter 7

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 7

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. PLEASE REVIEW … so I can improve this story before the deadline of 1/31/12. Thank you again, to those of you who review, and to those who are following my story.**_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

**January 1st**

"Ok. Come on, Kid. It's time for a break. I'm starving!" Rossi said, as he stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"I could use a break, too. I'm exhausted." Reid stated, as he followed Rossi.

As Rossi and Reid enjoyed a nice glass of wine with their late lunch, Rossi asked, "Well Kid, how do you think it's going so far?"

"For one thing, I'm glad I put a one hour limit per day on my resolution. The role-playing we've been doing has made a huge difference, but I know I'm just acting, pretending, faking it. When I think about that, it seems wrong to me. It seems almost dishonest. I know they're sincere when they talk to me, and that's what I want to be as well." Reid replied, looking earnestly at Rossi.

"Reid, they are sincere. They love you like a little brother, but even more than that, they like you, regardless of your ways. They accept you as you are. We all know that you don't like being treated differently, or like a kid, but you are. Not only are you much younger than the rest of the team, you know as well as I do, that you are different, very different from the rest of us. But that also means that the rest of us are the ones who are equally different, from you." Rossi stated, sincerely.

Reid grimaced and closed his eyes, once again pretending that if he couldn't see Rossi, then Rossi couldn't see him. Of course, as intelligent as he is, Reid knows that doesn't work. It's just less hurtful when he's not looking directly at the source of painful truths. "It's not my fault, Rossi. You can teach me to pretend and to be a faker, but I can't change my age, my IQ, or my true nature. I've never been just like everyone else, even before kindergarten, I didn't fit in. I didn't know how to play with other little kids. Really, I didn't want to play with them. There were other things that I wanted to do, but I was never rude to them. I knew not to say much, because it turned people against me even sooner than usual. Parents and teachers didn't even like me. They knew that I didn't have mental retardation for anything like that. They knew I wasn't autistic because I never did anything outrageous, or reacted weirdly." Reid paused, with his head bowed and his eyes closed tight.

Rossi sat there, a silent witness to a tortured soul. Sure, over the years Rossi had been snubbed a couple of times. By ignorant people who had misjudged him, without ever having taken the time to get to know him. Yet, none of it compared to how the world had mistreated this innocent young man, sitting before him. Rossi pinched the bridge of his nose and took deep breathes. Once again, because of Reid, Rossi's heart was overflowing with tears and shame. His shame was from knowing that he had been just one more person who had inflicted deep scars on Reid's soul. Rossi thought 'My God! I can't even begin to imagine surviving through the pain, trials, traumas, and tribulations that Reid has been suffering through all these years since such an early age. Reid's body is so thin and frail. His feelings are still so easily hurt. How the hell has he survived so long, and how much longer will he survive in this beautiful world full of horrible people.'

Rossi quickly wiped away the tears that had slowly seeped from his eyes. No! He had to be stronger than this, not for himself, but for Reid. Rossi wasn't really a 'go to church every Sunday and make confession' kind of catholic, but he did firmly believe in man being able to finding salvation. For many years, he had told himself that he was earning his full salvation by starting the BAU. Putting away serial killers had to be the ultimate act one could do. Yet, Rossi also knew that wasn't true. For, as his fame had grown, so had the quantity, and the quality, of his sinful ways. All those pompous years had earned him many riches, and his endless lustful ways had earned him the title of Lothario, an unscrupulous seducer of women.

Rossi had spent his life full of Wrath (against wrongdoers and killers), Greed (constantly demanding higher fees from publishers), Pride (just too full of it), Lust (almost daily), Gluttony (only the best foods and wines were good enough for him). That was five of the seven deadly sins. The only ones he had never been guilty of were Sloth and Envy. Still five out of seven most likely meant no secured-salvation for him, unless he started making major changes in his life.

'Wait a minute!' Rossi thought. 'I may be guilty of 5 deadly sins, but I do believe I have definitely canceled them out because I have always maintained five of the seven Virtues. Charity (contributions to causes), Diligence (determination), Patience (being part of a team), Humility (forced on me by my younger teammates), and Kindness (not just my most recent resolution, but my bonding with Reid). There's only two that I don't ever stand a chance of obeying: Chastity and Temperance. Hell no, life is too short to have to suffer through those two virtues.'

With his eyes still closed, Reid's began talking again, as Rossi became overwhelmed with awe. Never before had Rossi EVER met anyone so devoid of all seven of the deadly sin (Reid wasn't guilty of any of them), and so evidently graced by the seven virtues (Reid's nature thoroughly encompassed all of them). Rossi realized that he would find his heavenly salvation through Reid. Now that he was determined even more to help Reid find greater peace upon this earth, Rossi gently said, "Reid, open your eyes … please."

Reid opened his eyes and slowly looked up at Rossi. Rossi had never exactly understood what people meant when they spoke of 'wounded puppy-dog eyes', but he got it now. The difference, here, was that this wasn't fake or pretense, and it was a far worse look than any puppy could make. The look in Reid's eyes was soul rendering, like the pain of an angel's wings being ripped off. People always smile when they think of angels and their beauty, but they never think about what massive suffering had been borne which had earned those wings.

"You know as well as I, that a painful past is never forgotten. All you can do, Reid, is strive to find a little peace in each new day. If you do that, faithfully every day, believe me … One day it _**will **_balance out. You're the one always telling the team that nothing can exist without its opposite. I say the opposite of pain is joy. This is the year that we start bringing more Joy into your life, in every way we can think of. One day, you'll finally believe how much the team truly does loves you for who you are, and for what you are. How's that sound, best friend?" Rossi asked, smiling.

"It already started, Rossi. It started the night we became best friends. Thanks. I feel a little better now. Let's get back to practicing." Reid said, as he stood up and started clearing the dining room table.

Rossi and Reid role-played for a few more hours. By the time Reid left, he felt sure that tomorrow would go well. When he got home, Reid wrote the following into his notebook.

**The Profiler's Guide to Chit Chatting**

**Objective**: Spend a minimum of 10 minutes per day with each teammate. Subjects of chitchat will be based on my teammate's interests, **not mine**.

**Skills Required**: My eidetic memory and reading speed of 20,000 words per minute.

**Procedure to Ensure Success**: 1) identify subjects of interest. 2) use the internet to learn the latest information on said subjects. 3) read the newspaper every day and take note of sales, events, and breaking news regarding said subjects. 4) use my knowledge as a way of saving them time in their busy lives/jobs. 5) only offer small bits of information per day, thus ensuring I'll have something else to offer on the following days.

**My Teammates are Interested in the following: **

**HOTCH** – his son Jack, upcoming children's events, books for single dads on tape, 365 ways to keep your "only" child happy …

**ROSSI** – Othership …

**EMILY ** – she's a secret geek, discuss episodes of NOVA, teach her some easy physics tricks …

**MORGAN** – home improvement sales, ask him to teach me about men's fashionable clothes, make a game out of it, spend time with him looking at online outfits, tell him I'll buy one new item per month under $50 …

**GARCIA** – ask her to teach me how to use the tablet, ask her questions about technology …

**JJ **– her son Henry, ask if she still watches soccer games, can she teach me the rules, I'll start watching on tv …

After Reid completed his notebook notations, he signed onto the internet. Most things he retained with his eidetic memory, but he also printed out sheets of information and sales ads. Reid realized that his teammates wouldn't necessarily remember much of what he told them, so he intended to have (on hand, in his notebook) hand-out sheets that he could give to them. Reid felt like a teacher preparing class assignments, but this would be different. These weren't going to be forced onto his teammates. If they showed enough interest in the chitchat, **then** he would offer them the printout. People do things like that, right?

At 10:00 pm, Reid turned off his computer, put his printouts into his notebook, and prepared for bed. It was much earlier than he usually went to bed, but he wanted to get as much sleep as he could tonight. Tomorrow was the big day … and Reid felt ready!

**_A/N: The next chapter will be the final chapter. It will detail the first work day of the year, and a summary of Reid's progress as the days progress. I hope this story pleased you. Believe it or not, there's more of me in this story, I've ever admitted to anyone. Now that I've found , I've begun adding bits of Joy into my life. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Feel free to read my other stories as well. Please leave Reviews, not just for me, but for every story that you read! _**


	8. Chapter 8

Reid's Gift To Himself – Chapter 8

_**A/N: This is for the CCOAC 17**__**th**__** Challenge – New Year's Resolution. This is the final chapter of this story. The deadline is 1/31/12, and I can't take the strain anymore of continually asking the 600 people who have read all, or parts of this story … to please leave me feedback in reviews. I thank those of you who have left a review, and to those who are following this story. Albert Einstein once asked a question, which sometimes drives me hazy, "Am I, or are the others, crazy?" That's what keeps going through my mind, wondering why this story doesn't have more reviews. Oh well … I say 'all is fair in hell'. If you didn't like this story, try reading and reviewing my other stories. They are very different from this one. This story means more to me than the other stories. I've always known that writers must write for the readers, and only sometimes will they appreciate what you've written for yourself. Good Luck, to everyone who entered this 17**__**th**__** Challenge! Bless all of you, especially FanFiction.**_

_***** Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Criminal Minds. This story is only for entertainment and for improving my writing skills. *****_

**January 2nd**

Reid started the workday by pressing the snooze button on his alarm, laying back down and doing his "10-minute what would so and so be doing" routine. Today he pictured Morgan refusing to get up, and it worked! Reid shut off the snooze alarm and got ready for work. He made a notation in his notebook, and then packed it into his bag. He planned on making notations throughout the day. He hoped. No, he was sure that he could manage even if he had to break down 50 more minutes into 5-minute sessions. That should be easy to accomplish since he worked with chit-chatty gabbers. All he had to come up with were some opening statements, or questions. Then, just like Hotch had described, it would be their turn to respond, or reply. 'Piece of Cake' as they say, which doesn't make any sense at all, but I guess this is how they feel … that it should be easy. Like all those other stupid saying, 'easy as pie' and 'easy-peasy'. It's bad enough I'm starting this year off thinking about these phrases. Thank the gods, I don't actually have to say them to anyone. I'm so glad I came up with my list of conversational fillers, well a list anyway:

_**#1 – What do you like to do in your spare time?**_

_**#2 - Do you know what your your name means? **_

_**#3 - What is your favorite holiday? **_

_**#4 - If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be? **_

_**#5 - If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? **_

_**Reminder: **_

_**Just stay in the present moment, moment by moment, and the conversation will flow easily and naturally.**_

_**They are my family. They love me even though I'm different from them. **_

Reid drove in to work, knowing that by the end of today he would be either very exhausted, or very excited. Those were his usual reactions to failure or success. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle going home on public transportation. Usually, Reid arrived to work first. The rest of the team would arrive in varying order each day, except for Rossi. Rossi never came in early, usually he was the last one in each morning … just short of arriving late. Reid was extremely surprised to find Rossi already in the bullpen.

"What are you doing in so early? Has something happened?" Reid asked, nervously.

"I'm waiting for you, Kiddo!" Rossi chuckled. He was holding a medium-sized gift bag and sitting on the edge of Morgan's desk.

When Reid sat down, Rossi set the bag on the floor between them and said, "Take a look." As Reid looked through the items in the bag, Rossi explained his plan for today.

Each of the items in the bag had a small note attached to them. There was a bag of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, a coffee mug that read 'I am a Genius.', an nice looking tie and tie clip, a 'Dummies Guide to the Internet', and another book titled '14,000 Things To Do When You Have Nothing To Do'.

"A Dummies Guide?" Reid asked, holding up the offensively titled book.

"It's just another way into conversation with the team. You'll explain that you don't want to be a Garcia, but you want to start doing a little bit more on the internet. The book title alone will keep them occupied for days every time they see you reading it." Rossi explained, smirking.

Rossi pulled out the coffee mug and put it on Reid's desk, as he said, "I love this! As Garcia would say, 'that's because it's true.'"

Reid sat there shaking his head and laughing loudly. "It is true, isn't it?"

Rossi told Reid to hide the tie, tie clip, and the two books. They would be used later today, or tomorrow, if needed. This morning they would start the ball rolling with the DD coffee and the mug. Rossi told Reid to say that he brought the coffee himself, but that he didn't know who had left the mug on his desk. They folded up the gift bag and stuffed it in Reid's desk drawer. Then they went to start the coffee brewing.

"mmm … mmm!" Rossi and Reid heard Garcia before they even saw her. She entered the breakroom looking even more excited than she usually did this early in the morning. "Do I smell French Vanilla?" Garcia asked as she made her way over to the counter and grabbed up the bag, "Dunkin' Donuts! Who brought this in?"

Rossi waited for Reid to take the credit, but Reid just stood there looking a combination of nervous and embarrassed. Rossi rolled his eyes and said, "Well it wasn't me. It was you, wasn't it, Reid?"

"I just thought it'd be nice to start the work year off … nice." Reid said, with a grimace that was supposed to be a smile. He couldn't believe that he said the word 'nice' twice. Now he was rhyming in his mind. Before he could get too far down that dismal thought track, Garcia spoke.

"Thank you, Reid. This is perfect. I think we should do this every Monday. We'll rotate turns on who buys it, and they can choose whichever brew they want. It'll start each week off with a kick!" Garcia reached out and tickled Reid's stomach, making the three of them start giggling.

"Happy New Year, Guys!" Morgan called out, as he and Prentiss entered the kitchen.

"I love French Vanilla. Who brought it in?" Prentiss asked, picking up her mug from the counter.

"So this is where everyone is, goofing off in the breakroom!" Hotch said, standing in the doorway, trying to keep a stern look on his face. "And what's that smell?"

As JJ scooted around Hotch and entered the room, she said, "We're not goofing off. This is the breakroom, so that means were on break. What's going on, Guys?"

The coffee was almost ready. It was making those loud spurt noises. Prentiss had subtly positioned herself directly in front of the coffeemaker, with one hand poised to grab the pot.

"Oh no, Missy!" Garcia said, as she gently nudged Prentiss back from the counter. "Get in line, just like the rest of us. You and Derek are fourth and fifth."

"She's fifth. I entered before Prentiss, so I'm fourth!" Morgan made clear to everyone.

Hotch was still standing in the doorway, wondering what was going on with his team. JJ burst out laughing and said, "Ha-Ha Hotch, you're last because you're still in the doorway."

Morgan, Garcia, and Prentiss joined in with JJ as they continued laughing at 'poor Hotch'. Rossi smirked at Hotch, as Hotch gave in and laughed. Hotch said, "Well, if I'm last, I deserve to know what I'm last for?"

No one had noticed that Reid had somehow managed to drift furthest away from the coffee, as each person had entered the breakroom. Even Rossi hadn't noticed, and he was pissed at himself when he finally did notice. As Garcia told the team about the new weekly Monday rotation list that she was going to send around, Rossi walked over to Reid. "What's wrong, Kiddo? This is good."

"I just didn't know what to say. Every time I was almost ready to say something, someone else said something. I'm too slow at this." Reid explained, calmly. He wasn't upset, or nervous though. Having spent all that time recently with Rossi, had made a big difference. He just didn't have a spontaneous tongue like the rest of them.

"Listen to me, Reid. This is a perfect moment. We're all standing here in a good mood on the first workday of the year. I don't want to tell them your resolution, but I really think that we should tell them something. Believe me, they will make it a lot easier for you, in every way that they can. We all love you, Reid. You do know that, don't you?" Rossi finished quietly. Reid nodded his head, as he continued staring down at the floor.

Rossi had noticed that the breakroom had gone quiet, even though the team was all there. He was glad that Reid hadn't noticed, yet. Rossi reached down and took Reid's mug from his hands. He said, "You see this? We can never ignore this, no matter what you do, or how you act. They always try to get you to do things with them. It's not that they're trying to change you. They just want to do something for you, to try to be helpful to you. Their mistake is that they don't know what you need them to help you with. And they'll never know if you don't tell them." Rossi put his hand on Reid's shoulder and continued, "Don't tell them anything that we've been discussing about me and you, our otherness. Just tell them that you want to learn to chat more with them, and you want them to help you. Believe me, they'll be thrilled." Rossi chuckled, as he waited for Reid to say something.

Reid was again, thankful that he had Rossi as a friend, as a best friend. He was smiling when he finally looked up at Rossi. Just as Reid was about to say something to Rossi, he saw the team all standing there quietly. Thinking back, quickly, and noticing how he and Rossi were on the far side of the breakroom, and Rossi's voice had been lowered, almost a whisper … Reid realized that the team hadn't overheard anything. Rossi winked at Reid and kept his hand on Reid's shoulder as they walked over to the coffee counter.

"Thanks for the coffee, Reid, and for starting us off on our new Monday routine. We've been waiting for you to pour the first cup. In your … new mug?" Hotch questioned. The rest of the team smiled, nodding as they made way for Reid to approach the coffee pot.

"Hold it up, Pretty Boy. What does it say?" Morgan asked, trying to read the mug through Reid's fingers.

"I am a genius." Reid said, as his face heated up.

"We all know that, but what does the mug say?" Garcia asked, as she took the mug from Reid. "You are the cutest thing!" Garcia practically shouted. She handed the mug to Morgan, who was fourth. Garcia gave Reid a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, and Hotch just stared silently at the mug for a few seconds. Reid was glad that Garcia still had a hold on him, because he was thinking of running. Morgan twisted the cup around, and it said the same thing, 'I am a genius.' They laughed and handed the mug back to Reid.

Reid was so happy as he took his mug from Morgan, and poured himself the first cup of Monday coffee. Reid insisted that he didn't know who had given it to him. That he had found it on his desk when he came in this morning. Reid watched his team, no, his friends as they took their turns in order and poured themselves a cup of coffee. They kept smiling and chuckling as they kept looking at Reid and his mug. Once everyone had poured themselves some coffee, they just stood there still looking from Reid to his mug, from Reid to his mug. They were waiting, but Reid didn't know what they were waiting for. He looked at Rossi, and Rossi nodded his head, encouragingly.

"Hey Guys! I made a resolution and I sort of need your help to keep it." Reid said, looking at his friends.

"What do you need, Reid?" Hotch asked.

"We'd love to help you with anything." Prentiss said, as the others nodded in agreement.

Rossi held his breath, hoping that Reid wouldn't say too much. Deciding to make sure of that, Rossi said, "Just tell them what you told me this morning … about chatting with them." Reid caught Rossi's wink, and understood not to tell too much.

The team was more than willing to help Reid learn to chitchat. They were so glad to be able to teach the genius anything. Reid did explain that he was trying to learn more about the things that they liked, so that he could have more things to say to them. The girls 'awwed' at Reid, as Morgan and Hotch clapped Reid's shoulder and back.

After a few more moments of chatting about chitchatting, Hotch said, "Ok, everybody. We have work to do. Let's do a quick toast to the new year, and Reid gets the first sip."

Everyone called out Happy New Year and clinked their mugs. They each held their mugs near their mouths so that they could sip after Reid. Reid took a sip and the team doubled over in laughter. Once again, Reid didn't know what was so funny because he had never looked at the bottom of his mug.

Rossi reached over and tapped the bottom. Reid raised his mug high enough to see. He was so shocked to see that printed on the bottom of his mug was 'Did you know that …' The team loved it, and Reid's reaction.

It was so … Reid!

_**A/N: This is the final chapter of this story. I hope I've done a decent enough job telling this tale. This wasn't how I expected this story to end. It just worked itself out this way. As this story has now ended, I'll leave you with a powerful scene from The Family of Blood. It has nothing to do with this story. It just moves me. As I said, this story was more for me than it was for you. **_

_**Son of Mine said, "He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing — the fury of the Time Lord. Then we discovered why — why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he had run away from us and hidden. He was being kind. He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy to be imprisoned there, forever. He still visits my sister, once a year … every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is. Can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror … every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time, and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England, as their protector. We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure that we did." Thank You to the BBC for 50 years of Doctor Who! **_


End file.
